Young People Tackling Bullying

The Young Peoples Council combat bullying strategy was designed for young people with disfigurements by young people with disfigurements.

Who and what is the strategy for?

This was designed by the Young People’s Council (The YPC) at the charity Changing Faces, all the young people in this council have some type of disfigurement. The group developed this strategy for all young people with disfigurements who may feel they are being bullied in some way by another individual there is also some additional information for parents at the end. All the information provided here has been developed from the YPC’s own personal experiences of bullying which they have encountered throughout their life living with a disfigurement.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is when an individual intentionally does or says things repetitively to hurt someone. Bullying can happen in many ways.

Different types of bullying?

Verbal Bullying: this is when another person starts name calling or makes verbal remarks that are hurtful towards others.

Physical bullying: this includes any intentional physical contact that would hurt or injure a person like hitting, kicking, punching,

Cyber Bullying: is done by sending hurtful messages or pictures by the use of social networking sites such as Facebook, bebo, twitter and also by mobile phone such as text messages.

Social alienation: is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose.

Indirect bullying: includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others.

Intimidation: is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.

What’s the YPC’s Goal for writing this combat bullying strategy;

The goal of this strategy was to have an effective set of guidelines and advice designed by young people who have disfigurements and have experience different situations when they themselves felt they were bullied. The YPC also wants to highlight the reality of bullying and that it’s such a common issue among many young people. The techniques outlined in this strategy have being tried and tested in many different bullying situations and have being proven to work.

 So why not give some of them a go!

 Places where bullying can take place:

School ,college ,work / work experience, social clubs, sports teams, the gym, bars, nightclubs, public transport, internet, school trip away, hospital ward, shops, cinema, swimming pool, play ground, local music group, hairdresser, restaurants or cafés.

Its important to note that bullying can happen anywhere in society!

Different types of bullying that the YPC have encountered throughout their life

Many of the YPC members have stressed that they have encountered different types of bullying in all the places listed above. Some have them have encountered name calling and social exclusion from various social groups; others have felt that they have being victims of peer pressure within their own friends groups. Other members of the YPC have also highlighted that they were bullied on a school trip away.

Another young person in the YPC has also described a situation when they themselves felt they were not quite ready to start going out to nightclubs or bars and friends kept making comments about it.

A lot of the YPC felt they were bullied in both primary and secondary school, they have encountered name calling, exclusion from groups, bullying from teachers, intimidation, and isolation during lunch hour. In some cases people indicated they were left out of class room activities by others.

A personal account of bullying from one YPC member

Kellie’s story

I am a burns survivor, so I have a facial disfigurement, I would describe myself as a very confident person but I too have experienced bullying throughout my childhood and teenage years.

When I was in primary school I was a victim of bullying for many years, I can recall now how I suffered name calling and exclusion from my peer group. The other students in my class used to run off and hide from me or pass around notes in the class room about me. I was never aloud in on the big secret they were telling one another, it was for their ears only never mine and as a young girl I felt very left out.

As I think back to my teenage years, I used to attend horse riding lessons I loved it and worked my way up through the different stages at the horse riding school and finally reached the advance level. There was also a down side to horse riding lessons as well; I was always made to feel excluded from the groups of other young people attending the riding school. They were always in their own little groups and they would never invite me to sit with them or just chat for a while, I was always left out and that was the main reason I stopped horse riding, and to this day I have never went back.

I’m now 21 years old and in my fourth year of university, studying  for a BA in Social science  I already have a very good degree in Social studies and I just love college life so I managed to get over my bullying. So there is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t do what I should have done to try and end my bullying so don’t make my mistake, GET HELP!!

By Kellie O’ Farrell a proud burn survivor.

Where to seek help if you feel you are being bullied

1.      Speak to the charity Changing Faces who provide support services for people with disfigurements.

2.      Speak to a teacher in school who you feel ok talking to.

3.      Speak to your year head

4.      Speak to the principal of your school

5.      If you are being bullied in work you should tell your manager, and if that doesn’t work ask to speak to the owner or boss directly it’s everyone’s right, so don’t be shy. If you cannot speak to your boss or they may be the person doing the bullying then contact Changing Faces for support.

6.       If you are being bullied while using public transport tell someone who is in charge on that journey or contact the company that provides that service or contact Changing Faces.

7.      If you are being bullied in college/ university contact the student’s services officer or the head of your course.

8.      If you are experiencing bulling on the internet tell a parent or other adult, make sure you only accept emails and messages from people you know,, report the bullying to the website, keep evidence of the bullying, don’t reply to nasty messages. You may need to think about having a period of time where you stop using your social networking account.

9.      If you are being bullied in your social club or by other members that are part of the same team as you, tell the person in charge.

10. If you are out in a night club or bar and you are being bullied by an individual or a group get in contact with the manger and have the person or group removed. As you are not the one causing harm you have every right to stay with your friends and enjoy yourself

11. Most of all please tell your parents or a good friend , it so important to talk about bullying with other people .So don’t keep it to  yourself, talk about it don’t be alone its always good to have support from the people we care about.

Some Techniques used by the YPC members to stop or prevent bullying

o       Stay Positive

o       Try and surround yourself with friends

o       Talk about it

o       Get Counseling

o       Use a diary to write your feelings down

o       Use a stress ball for relaxation

o       Avoid the bully if you can

o       Don’t put a downer on yourself

o       Walk way if a situation is getting out of hand as  you may be in danger

o       Don’t show the bullies that they are getting the better of you

o       Be out spoken in the class room and make everyone hear what you have to say if you are being excluded from class room activities

o       Be very confident

o       Walk tall and proud

o       Have full faith in your own skills and abilities

o       See your own self worth

o       If someone makes a smart comment to you just make one back, but make it a better one

o       Never hit anyone unless its self defense

o       If you are verbally standing your ground with the bully don’t get angry, try and be cool and collected so you can out smart them with your answers so they know there is no messing with you. Bullies always look for easy targets

o       Tell someone who can help you; this is the key to stopping bullying.

o       Have words or phrase ready to say to the bully when someone makes a comment about your appearance, Something smart like “ You’re no oil painting yourself so I don’t know how you can talk” Or “have you looked in the mirror lately yourself” Try and keep calm with no bad language but be careful don’t make the bully too angry. If this happens its best to walk away

o       Join clubs outside school or after school activities to gain confidence and meet different people

Some personal messages from our Young peoples Council

“Your not alone we all have encountered bullying”

 “You’re the bigger and better person”

 “There is not just one method to stop bullying”

 “Be positive”

 “Don’t give in”

 “Remember all the great things that people have said about you and believe them”

 “Stay strong you can do this”

 “People can be ignorant, prove them wrong”

 “Don’t let the bullies win, you should”

 “Keep going you will get here in the end!”

Remember we are all united against bullying. We know it should not happen but it does, you will beat bullying and life will get better. What happens in life makes us all stronger. So on behalf of the YPC best of luck and we hope our advice helps, you can do it!

If you are 12 or older and want to join the YPC please contact Emily at Changing Faces!

Email: emilyb@changingfaces.org.uk    Tel: 0845 4500 275

If you or your parent would like further support with issues at school or college then do contact us at Changing faces on 0845  4500 275 / info@changingfaces.org.uk

If you want to talk through how you are feeling then contact one of our Children and Young People’s Specialists on 0845 4500 275 / info@changingfaces.org.uk